The Types of Parents often seen at Soft-Play.

My Life As A Series Of Status Updates

Germ-Phobic mum is recognised by the four pumps for each hand of anti-bacterial gel from the nearest dispenser, she carries wet wipes in her back pocket and her eyes dart wildly as she searches for children with snotty noses so she can snatch her crawling baby away before they get within sneezing distance. Normally, she wouldn’t dream of bringing her child to such a germ infested place but she is part of a larger group celebrating her niece’s birthday party. She is certain despite
her best efforts in approximately 24 hours little Penni-Cillin is going to show symptoms of illness but she has Barn-Doc on speed-dial and Amoxicillin on stand by.

Potty-training mum has been holed up in the house for two weeks. She mistakenly thought soft-play would be a safe option as the first outing for her toddler wearing “Big Girl’s Pants”. Everyone has at least one sock with…

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